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Appreciation and Treasure

5/2/2012

15 Comments

 
I didn’t win the lottery last night. 

About a month ago, when the Mega Millions climbed towards a billion dollars, and everyone (including Ann Rice) bought tickets, I’d decided that I was going to live my life as though I’d already won the lottery.  Minus that initial insane wave of rampant spending, of course.

I’m fortunate in that I do have a pretty good life.  We could all make a list of what we don’t have, what we never got to see and what we couldn’t afford to do.

But what about the things we already have, have already seen and have already done?  It seems like one of the hardest things for people to do is to simply appreciate what they have.  We’re conditioned to want more in a time when much of what we do spend our money on has built-in obsolescence – the way your new laptop is out of date before you even get it home to install last year’s version of Microsoft Office.

I can look around the house as I type this and see so many things that were so important to have, such necessities – until they were added to the ever-growing collection, instantly changing from a highly sought after Toy Of The Month into one more piece of clutter.

I have a lot of books, CDs and DVDs.  Being in radio, I used to pretend that I needed these items for work.  They became my raison d’ être of my job.  At a moment’s notice, I might need an instrumental version of an Abba song or a clip from “The Wedding Singer”.  I might need to grab the theme from the third season of “Leave It To Beaver” or find the particular line in Shakespeare’s “Midsummer Night’s Dream” that begins “Whereat With Blade, With Bloody Blameful Blade…”

Of course, the Internet itself has rendered most of that unnecessary.  I can quickly do a search on a quote and have multiple sources within seconds.  And I can pay Rhapsody and Netflix for subscriptions to have a generous library of music, movies and television shows all at the ready.  And for what those sites don’t have, there’s always YouTube.

While that may have slowed it down a bit, that hasn’t changed that feeling that I need to have these things.  And to maintain them.  The having became the important thing.  But besides having these things in my extensive collection, do I really appreciate them?

Here’s a look at some of my CDs.  You can’t tell from this picture, but they’re all alphabetized by artist.  Pretty, aren’t they? 
Picture
These are just my Christmas CDs.  They’ve all been ripped into my computers, and I use them for my Christmas station.  What you don’t see in this picture is the other bookcases of CDs, the non-Christmas ones, which are easily four times what you see in that photo.  And that doesn’t include the special book case I have, with doors, that house all my Beatles and Beatles-related CDs (and Rolling Stones’ CDs, too).

I haven’t listened to them all.  I probably haven’t listened to a lot of them.  I could probably listen to one or two every day, ones I haven’t ever played, and not hear the same one twice for the rest of the year.

DVDs are getting that bad, too.  And what’s worse, many of those aren’t even opened.   In fact, there are some that I have multiple copies of, just because I forgot that I already had it.  I think I have three copies of “The Big Lebowski”.

And there are books.  Overflowing the shelves.  Some still in boxes from when I moved here over six years ago.  How many of those haven’t I read?  I couldn’t guess.  But I have them.

If I just started appreciating the things I have, it would be like I’d been on a shopping spree.

Of course, it’s not just about things.

I work hard.  Too much.  The days blend into one another sometimes.  And the weekend is always a shining beacon of hope, waiting for me at the end.

I live in Sunny San Diego, about half an hour from the ocean.  And the ocean for me is a kind of therapy.  After a particularly difficult week, I can spend an hour at the beach, staring at the waves, and feel recharged, filled with transcendental calm.  In fact, this is the wallpaper on my cellphone...
Picture
There have been a lot of difficult weeks lately.  And when Friday finally rolls around, I think I’ll hop in my convertible, put the top down and head west to the ocean. 

But life happens, and I don’t make it nearly as often as I’d like.

I find myself getting angry sometimes, when I’m unable to shirk my responsibilities – as a husband, as a father, even as a pet-owner.  It isn’t fair.  Everyone else gets to do what they want.

Seriously, I have thought that.

Instead, though, I need to appreciate what I have.  I have kids who aren’t going to be living at home forever (despite what I sometimes think).  Kids who even like to spend time with their mom and me (sometimes). 

And anyone who’s ever had pets knows how sadly temporary they are.  We have three dogs, all roughly the same age.  And a cat.  And one day, I’ll be heartsick about at least seventy-five percent of them.

And most important, I have Lisa.  She’s very busy, plans much too much and tends to forget to tell me that she’s obligated me for something.

She is also, by far, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  I used to think I wanted to find someone that knew me and loved me anyway.  This is better than that, because she knows me and loves me because of who I am, not in spite of it.

And as sappy as that might sound, that’s quite a treasure. 

I hope you have someone in your life that makes you feel that kind of windfall.  Figuring out how to appreciate them, as well as the other bric-a-brac you’ve already accumulated, is a great way to feel like you’ve already won the lottery!

Ken

P.S. - Hi Marvin!  It's all there - "Whereat with blade:, foreign expression (raison d’ être) and even transcendental!
15 Comments
Chuck
5/2/2012 07:31:00 am

I am in complete awe of the magnitude of your CD collection. I don't think I could come close to fitting them in our house

Reply
Ken
5/2/2012 07:39:06 am

Thanks, Chuck. It's been quite the habit/disease collecting those. Of course, since CDs are going the way of records and 8 tracks, maybe I'll be cured!

Ken

Reply
Chris Mitchell (Another Government Employee)
5/2/2012 08:57:35 am

I have a several weeks recently like this. Where I want to chuck it all and just concentrate on what I have. And as you say, life happens.

Reply
Ken
5/3/2012 05:45:36 pm

Hi Chris! I know this doesn't help you, but it is somewhat comforting to know I'm not the only one. Here's hoping it's a great weekend and a better week next week!

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Dave Coon
5/2/2012 01:25:26 pm

Ken,
Wow. First let me say that I am in awe of your vast cd, video and book collections!
What you say is true about what we feel is important in our lives. Like you; I work hard and I do enjoy what I do, but it does take mental effort to continue to do the mundane that is associated with life. I don't have the assortment of man toys that some seem to accumulate, no boats, Motorcycles or old hot rods to tinker with and impress others with on the weekends. The hot rod thing has always been a dream of mine. I do devote most of my off time to family. In my heart I know that they are really all that is important to me. Sure the frustration and irritations are a part of all that and it is good to have a place to get away to. I like that idea! Life gives us many roads to choose from and I know that if I had chosen a different road then that which is most fundamentally important to me would not be in my life and I would know that something was missing even if I did not know what it was. I am rambling. Sorry! As you said Life Happens and you can either choose to roll with it and ride its waves for there will always be highs and lows. Enjoy the highs! Okay putting soap box away. Later!

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Ken
5/3/2012 05:47:18 pm

Thanks, Dave! The real trick seems to be remembering to enjoy the highs, rather than letting the lows ruin it all! Here's to figuring out how to keep doing that!

Ken

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Marvin Martian
5/2/2012 02:00:10 pm

Each of us must find what is most important to us on a personal level and then embrace it with love and joy. 8 points Earthling! :)

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Ken
5/3/2012 05:48:52 pm

Thanks, Marvin! It seems like it should be easy, doesn't it? I think too many of us are guilty of self-sabotage!

Ken

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trevor clower
5/3/2012 08:24:45 am

I have to say your DC collection is very extensive and its a good thing to come out of am obsession to keep saving them... and you are indeed blessed with a good partner and kids Ken... living by the ocean is indeed a bonus in the rush and tumble life we live in now days... loved the blog my friend..

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Ken
5/3/2012 05:49:50 pm

Thanks so much, Trevor! It's tricky sometimes seeing what we have, even when it's right there in front of us!

Ken

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Joleene Naylor link
5/5/2012 02:51:12 pm

oooh! I admit to being jealous of your CD collection... I probably have a good 200 or 300 (counting MP3 albums - been buying those lately as they are cheaper and faster to get) but nothing like that!

I have also been looking around at all of our junk and so have been simplifying by getting rid of things... of course i will later buy new stuff, but I figure in the meantime someone else should get the use out of th junk i am not using :)

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Ken
5/9/2012 05:42:30 am

Hi Joleene! We try to get rid of at least a bag or two of stuff every month. Even without winning the lottery, we have way too much stuff, and there just have to be people who would appreciate some of the clothes, books etc that we don't even look at any more!

Ken

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doris Emmett
5/6/2012 12:58:31 am

I had a feeling of deja vu when I read this. I too had collections within collections of absolute "must haves"...I fooled myself into believing I was rich and accomplished because of all the things I "had"...then we had to get rid of the house and downsize and make a "going-good will-dump" list and I was surprised at how little I really "needed" to take of all that amassed "wealth of stuff". It was a GOOD wake up call to what was and wasn't essential or even necessary. Loved your write...and you are right...it's time we need more of...not stuff...to interact with those in our lives that we care about...who are ...as you rightly said...all too transient!

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Ken
5/9/2012 05:43:55 am

Thanks, Doris! I've been learning quite a lot myself, as I've tried to start living this way (like I've already won the lottery). And you're exactly right, the things that are really important aren't "things" at all!

Ken

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buy wow gold link
8/20/2012 05:50:41 pm

You could certainly see your skills within the paintings you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.

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